Visualizing a man by my side, with me in the push/pull of my impulses. Together, somehow the mystic & the *perverse* become a rare alchemy between us. Imagining that my *alter-égale* exists truly. That this man to be my lover can understand how my thoughts & desires mix, explore, become. That he can share & encourage his same impulses. That I no longer need to divide myself - the *good girl / bad girl* becoming two functionning parts of my whole, seen & experienced by this man.
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