Phallus_aurea and Princesse.X : the love story of Monsieur Os

Message à phallus_aurea
Date: 09/10/05 22:29
Message:
Bonsoir Phallus !
Je remarque que vous passez souvent sur ma page sans me saluer !
Essayez donc à trouver l'oeuvre d'art qui corresponde à mon pseudo; vous verrez qu'on a qq chose en commune !

*X*

I came across my notebooks from 2006, my writings shared with Monsieur Os. As I read thru them, I was struck by my emotions, so much in love... and how he'd cared about me. This was my first D/s relationship... buying my first corset, my first latex skirt... indulging in a plethora of toys...
I've decided to flesh out my blog, to publish our Entrevues in their chronology.  At the time, they were part of an almost daily erotic correspondence between us, over a year & a half — too intimate to publish in my fledgling blog. I was still shyly posting some writing, still discreet.
Much of our electronic correspondence has been lost, but I will publish some of the vestiges.

As I've written, I joined love@lycos.fr in 2003, mainly to resocialize myself. After a first profile, I created my bad girl profile of princesse.x, 83 yrs old, the age of the Brancusi sculpture at the time.
On Lycos, one could go invisible —"to ghost”— and visit pages without being seen. On our page was a list of recent visitors, and I noticed a certain "Golden Braquemard" that  frequently came by. I didn't know that expression, and thought it was some kinda dog, like a Golden Retriever or something.  When he changed his pseudo to Phallus_Aurea, this caught my attention, and we began our flirtation.

With Phallus, we ignited after a first lunch date, a first spanking.
The erotic correspondence began, filled with fantasies… our "dedicaces" when we would masturbate thinking of the other — often he would be in the shower.  Sometimes I would be shocked when he would write me about jerking off in bed while his wife slept next to him, thinking of me.
I would recount our Entrevues, he would react in response.
Yes, I let myself fall in love with him, it was exhilarating, he was so handsome. Our BDSexM so passionate & enticing, a perfect match in so many ways.

///
September 2007. The way he let me down was so cold. He stopped answering me, no explanation. Just cold, ghosting…
I suppose I've been cold like that myself at times, but I was simply devastated. Sleepless nights, agonizing until dawn, until I finally realized I had to meet other people like me, and walked thru the door of C&C at midnight on Halloween 2007, hosted by Les Goûters du Divin Marquis.
After a few repercussions, our love story was over for good.

If I choose to publish these writings now, it's to place this first D/s love story in perspective. And somehow by reviving these emotions, to call forth a new lover, one who can be my alter-ego again. I want to feel this way, be in love again with a happy end, a perfect match.
The freshness of my feelings...

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Illustration © DR